HALLOWEEN in Theaters This October

John Carpenter's original Halloween is my favorite movie. Ever. Not just my favorite horror film, but my favorite, full-stop. I could watch it over and over again (and frequently do). But since the movie was originally released in 1978, I've never had the pleasure of seeing it on the big screen - so I'm very excited that it will be returning to theaters on October 25 in honor of its 35th anniversary, along with the documentary You Can't Kill the Boogeyman: 35 Years of Halloween. Seriously, I am unspeakably excited for this.

You can check out a list of theaters that will be screening Halloween this fall here. So far, there's only one theater listed in Los Angeles - the Regent in Westwood - but more theaters are set to be added to the list through the end of the month, so check back if your city's not represented.

To quote from Halloweenmovies Facebook, looks like Halloween 2012 will be the night EVERYBODY comes home. YAY.

Tales That Witness Madness (1973)

 

Here's something I just figured out that's kind of blowing my mind: The reason I love horror anthology movies can be almost entirely traced back to The Simpsons' annual "Treehouse of Horror" Halloween specials. Anthologies offer an excellent return on investment in the 90 minutes or so they take to watch; instead of following just one storyline, you get 3 or more. If all of the stories are creepy and engaging, it's like hitting the horror jackpot, and if a few of them suck, the production can still redeem itself with one killer segment. (Example: Creepshow 2 isn't exactly a great movie, but I sure love that menacing lake sludge in "The Raft.")

Tales That Witness Madness, a British anthology from 1973 that is currently available via Netflix streaming, is a keeper through and through. First, the title...the poster...the tagline that promises a veritable orgy of the damned! Made in 1973, this is a movie that is very much of its time visually, especially in terms of costume and set design. If, like me, you love how intensely ugly the 1970s could be, this is a must see.

 

The four stories contained within the movie are framed by a rather clever device: Each one is a tale that has been told by a madman (or madwoman, or madchild) to his or her psychiatrist, who relates the macabre missives to a colleague while guiding him from room to room through the retina-searingly white halls of an ultra-sterile Clockwork Orange-ish mental hospital. The shrink is played by a pre-Halloween Donald Pleasence, doing that doctor-profoundly-haunted-by-the-presence-of-unspeakable-evil thing he does so well.

In the first room, we meet a little boy with a very dangerous imaginary friend. While there were creepy moments, this segment turned out to be the weakest of the bunch. But hang on to your trousers, because next up is a segment about a sinister penny-farthing and the antiques dealer it terrorizes.

Yes, friends. A possessed penny-farthing.

Just when you're beginning to think, "Dude, this is one of my new favorite movies!" it gets better. Because out comes Joan Collins. Early '70s Joan Collins, wearing filmy negligees and floppy bows in her hair and bitchily throwing her drink in the face of a rather feminine-shaped tree that her husband brings home.

Finally, the movie reaches its climax with a segment about a satanic luau, which sounds kind of like the plot to a Scooby Doo episode, which it kind of it is, except no kids meddle so no one's evil plans are foiled, nawmean?

The movie wraps up with a nice little twist - sort of predictable, but fun nonetheless. The morals of this movie seem to be: Don't bring home every crazy thing that you find in the street, or the forest, or your uncle's estate sale or wherever. Handsome men who murmur lasciviously into the ear of your teenage daughter every time you turn your back might have some sort of diabolical ulterior motive. If your child tells you that his imaginary friend hates you, you're probably going to get murdered. And don't fuck with Joan Collins. Hesitate to ax a bitch, she will not.

Quoth The Raven...

I just won tickets to a special screening of The Raven tomorrow night! (Thank you, Dread Central.) What am I in for? Well...

John Cusack and Alice Eve host a spooky night at the Masonic Lodge of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in honor of their upcoming film "The Raven." The night will feature a performance by Tony award winning poet Lemon Andersen, a seance to conjure the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe, and a screening of the film itself.

Luckily, rain is in the forecast for tomorrow. Poe in a cemetery on a stormy night? Be still, my black heart!

Did You Have Yourself a Spooky Little Xmas?

Did you get anything Halloweenie for Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus/whatever this year? I did, naturally. Here are a few of my spooky favorites:
A bottle of Elvira's very own "Macabrenet" wine! This was the perfect gift because I totally wanted it but probably would never have bought it for myself. Well, okay, I would buy it if I happened to see it at BevMo or something, but I never would've gone through the trouble of ordering this online. I am by no means a wine connoisseur, but I enjoyed this just as much as I've ever enjoyed any red wine, and I'm saving the bottle because it's awesome. Apparently some of the bottles have a red cork (instead of black), and if you send it in to Elvira she'll send you something in return. Sadly, mine did not have a red cork. :*( If anyone knows what the surprise is for finding a red cork, do share!


I also got this video game, Alan Wake. My relationship with video games is pretty uneven - like, most of the time I forget they even exist, and then occasionally I get obsessed with one for a few weeks on end and it's all I can think about. I'm also not that great at playing them, so I prefer ones that offer a cool immersive world yet are fairly easy to master, and this one totally fits the bill. I love the rustic, spooky lake setting and the Stephen King-ish beleaguered writer storyline. I am nursing a bit of a post-holiday cold so I spent about 3 hours playing this last night, while sipping my Macabrenet, I might add. (Are you supposed to drink wine when you have a head cold? Alcohol is basically medicine, right?)


I also got a lovely hardcover copy of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. So excited to read it, as soon as I finish plowing through the Lord of the Rings books (currently 100 pages in to The Two Towers). I'm already loving the cover art and the "found photos" that are scattered throughout the book. Has anyone read this? Thoughts?

Tell me about the spooky gifts you got (or gave) this year!

Honky Tonk Horror

This year I'm thankful for the Black Belles. They sound sorta like a girlie version of the White Stripes and they look like super cool foxy witches. You might already be familiar with their song "What Can I Do?" as the theme song for Elvira's Movie Macabre. Get their debut record, you'll love it.

Review: Haunted Play Presents "DELUSION"

It seems like every year, just as I'm starting to feel like I might be (gasp) a little burnt out on haunted houses, a new (or at least new-to-me) attraction comes along that restores my faith in Halloween and, you know, humanity as a whole. Quick recap of this phenomenon: 2008, Universal Halloween Horror Nights - I hadn't been in years and I was absolutely floored by how rad it was. 2009, L.A. Haunted Hayride's inaugural year - a totally unique experience for me, as it was my very first haunted hayride. 2010, Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks - I couldn't believe the attention to detail and length of the maze. And what takes the creepy cake this year? A haunted house/theater hybrid known as Haunted Play presents "DELUSION."

Much has been made about one very specific aspect of Delusion's online FAQ:

• Q: Will they touch me?
  

• A: All haunted houses say their actors won’t touch you. That is NOT the case here.

This is basically the haunted house equivalent of the old Psycho trick of killing off the star of a horror movie well before the end of the film - it creates anticipation and makes the audience feel like all bets are off, and absolutely anything could happen. Well, rest assured that you probably will be touched if you attend Delusion, but it probably won't be as traumatic or violent as what you're imagining! (But really...who knows? Mwahaha.)

Yet my favorite aspect of this play/attraction isn't wondering whether or not the actors would touch me - it was being able to walk through such a fabulously creepy crumbling old mansion. Yes, the above photo is actually where Delusion takes place - an eerie, rundown, Haunted Mansion-esque estate. And the interior is even more deliciously spooky, with the kind of attention to detail that really makes a haunt.

Since Delusion was created by a Hollywood stuntman, you're probably expecting some cool stunts, right? Again, you won't be disappointed. The actors in this haunted play execute stunts more sophisticated than anything I've seen in a haunted house. When one of the "patients" (check out the website for the full Delusion backstory) laughs maniacally and then suddenly flies up out of view, it's like witnessing something out of The Exorcist in real life. Likewise when another character is dragged down the hall kicking and screaming by an unseen force. You expect these kinds of effects in movies, but not at a haunted house.

Another quality that sets Delusion apart is the fact that it forces you to become an active participant in the story. You will be asked to perform certain tasks, and your life (and the lives of your dozen or so companions) may hang in the balance. Oh, and wear comfortable shoes - you may be running from room to room in order to evade the ghouls!

Halloween is just two days away, but if you're looking for some last minute scares, I recommend trying to fit this one in. And if you miss out this year, go ahead and mark your calendar for October 2012 - I guarantee Haunted Play is going to be one to watch for many Halloweens to come.

Disclosure: I was provided with complimentary passes to review this event.

Review: Theatre 68 Haunted House

As a Halloween fan in southern California, it's easy to get caught up in going to the same professional haunts year after year. They're always fun, but after a while they do start to get stale. The maze layouts, the props and set pieces, even the scare tactics all start to feel rather...predictable. And predictability is not conducive to terror. That's why it's so much fun to discover a smaller, more unassuming haunt; you have no idea what to expect, and suddenly you're vulnerable again! Like a virgin...scared for the very first time.

So yeah, it was indeed a "white wedding" for me when I visited Theatre 68's 6th annual haunted house in Hollywood last night. Located on a rather nondescript block of Sunset Blvd. - east of the Sunset Strip, west of Sunset Junction - across the street from a Food 4 Less and tucked in the back of a small strip mall, the theatre sure didn't look like much from the outside. But once you walk down a short hallway festooned with cobwebs, you'll find yourself in a lobby decorated with photographs and mug shots of famous serial killers, an appropriately unsettling choice of decor. The best part of this haunted house is probably the fact that you are only allowed to go through 2 at a time, so you'll be able to enjoy the atmosphere and relish in the fact that the monsters are working to scare you, and you alone.

There were so many unique touches to this haunted house. You begin by being escorted into a dark room where you watch an introductory news bulletin on TV about a serial killer who is loose in the area. After the broadcast is abruptly cut off, a frantic reporter runs into the room and tells you where to go next - and then the experience truly begins.

I have no idea how they crammed so much haunted house goodness into such a small space, but we were going upstairs, downstairs, into rooms that appeared to be dead ends (but weren't, thanks to a mysterious moving wall), through closets filled with clothes on hangers, and more. I loved the ghoulish glowing bride and the poor fellow who "lost his head," but all of the sets were very creative and different from anything you can expect to see at Knott's or Universal.

If you don't have a lot of cash to spend on a "pro" haunt, I definitely recommend Theatre 68: Tickets are only $12, and if you bring a canned good you'll get $1 off. (Food will be donated to local organizations that serve the homeless for Thanksgiving - and, of course, your admission will help fund a small local theater instead of merely lining the coffers of a corporate conglomerate.) Another benefit of visiting Theatre 68's haunt is the fact that it's open seven nights a week, so you can check it out anytime.

Theatre 68's haunted house proves that passion, ingenuity and genuine enthusiasm can still be found in the heart of Hollywood for under 20 bucks. It's a Halloween miracle!


Disclosure: I was provided with complimentary passes to review this event.

Spooky Trip: San Diego's Whaley House

Whaley House, long ago.

Whaley House, not so long ago.

The Whaley House, a rather unassuming brick structure located in charming Old Town San Diego, has a reputation that belies its unremarkable facade: It is commonly known as "the most haunted house in America." Now I'm not sure how, exactly, one can quantify the "haunted-ness" of a locale, but in any case, I had been eager to check it out for years. When I heard that the Whaley House was offering free admission for Museum Day, I knew it was my chance to offset the cost of the 4-hour round trip car ride down to San Diego and back, and Mr. Spooky and I seized the opportunity.

No, we didn't see or hear any ghosts - surely there were too many tourists (and too much daylight) for that. But you know that feeling you get in some older buildings or other places that are said to be haunted - that feeling like the air itself is oppressive, like you're slightly seasick even though you're standing on level ground, that sense that history is closing in around you? That uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah, parts of the Whaley House definitely had that - something that I also felt the first time I set foot on the decks of the Queen Mary.

After exploring the house itself, we walked around Old Town San Diego, ate the most amazing fish tacos and sweet, chewy churros I'd ever had in my life, and finished off by taking a stroll by the eerily lovely Victorian homes in nearby Heritage Park. If you're in southern California and you're looking for a fun and affordable spooky day trip, a jaunt to the Whaley House is highly recommended.