Capsule Movie Reviews: Prince of Darkness, Frankenweenie, From a Whisper to a Scream, Equinox

Sometimes there are movies I want to write about, but it just doesn't feel like I have enough in me to create a "full post." For those moments, I give you...capsule movie reviews. (I actually really love shorter movie reviews, personally. They give you enough to help you determine whether or not you want to watch the movie, but they're usually too brief to give away major plot points.)

Prince of Darkness: This is a John Carpenter movie from the 80s that focuses on the Devil, which is such an 80s horror topic, right?! Satanic cults were a real thing back then. Anyhow, in Prince of Darkness it turns out that, concealed beneath an old church is an unspeakable evil, in the form of green goo that is vaguely reminiscent of You Can't Do That on Television, or the filling of a delicious, delicious Cadbury Screme Egg. Donald Pleasence plays a priest with haunted eyes who says terrifying things about how everyone is doomed. Alice Cooper plays a homeless guy who stabs someone to death with a fucking bicycle. It's on Netflix streaming - check it out! It's not a masterpiece, but it's enjoyable nonetheless.

Frankenweenie: Tim Burton (sorta) redeems himself to diehards who want to love him but can't pretend his most recent movies have been good with this supercute black-and-white 3D animated tale about a boy who resurrects his beloved dog, based on his live action short of the same name which you probably watched as an extra on the Nightmare Before Christmas DVD. It has lots of Burtonian atmosphere, a creepy/manic Danny Elfman score, nods to Universal monster movies and Vincent Price and even the voice of Winona Ryder as a Lydia Deetz-ish deadpan goth girl. If any of this sounds even remotely appealing to you, you'll dig this movie.

From a Whisper to a Scream: Another horror anthology currently available via Netflix streaming, this is an 80s movie starring an elderly Vincent Price about the evil that infects the (fictional) town of Oldfield, Tennessee. (Note: For some reason, I thought there would be a murderous scarecrow in this movie. I'm not sure why I thought this, but let me tell you there are no scarecrows whatsoever. You have been warned.) VP plays a classy/creepy old librarian whose serial killer niece has just been executed, and a mysterious lady comes to visit him to learn more about what drove her to murder. What follows is four ghoulish tales covering topics like murderous babies from beyond the grave, voodoo, necrophilia, carnival freakshows and the horrors of the Civil War (no, really!). This movie was kind of brutal, actually - anthologies tend to be a little on the kitschy side (think Tales from the Crypt) and this one had a number of gory moments that took me by surprise. And can I just say that I'm so fucking tired of watching women murdered in movies for rebuffing a man's sexual advances, as if that somehow lends sympathy to the murderer? (Note: This is why we need more women filmmakers, especially in the horror genre!) Apparently Vincent Price hated this movie. It's nothing I would recommend going out of your way to watch, but if you're an anthology fan with a couple of hours to kill, you could do worse. Like, for instance, you could wind up watching...

Equinox: This 1970 movie straddles the line between so bad it's funny and so bad you're kinda pissed that you spent valuable minutes of your life watching it. It's full of annoying characters who do inexplicably stupid things, and I can safely say that I was rooting for absolutely everybody's death. The special effects are abysmal, even for the time, and don't make a lot of sense within the context of the story. Like, why does one of the characters end up battling a large blue caveman? Hmm. It gets points for all of the cool cars and for showcasing L.A. hiking trails that I know for a fact I've been on, including the Bronson Caves in Hollywood. Points taken away for the hyper-annoying casual sexism and the utter idiocy of the plot.

HALLOWEEN in Theaters This October

John Carpenter's original Halloween is my favorite movie. Ever. Not just my favorite horror film, but my favorite, full-stop. I could watch it over and over again (and frequently do). But since the movie was originally released in 1978, I've never had the pleasure of seeing it on the big screen - so I'm very excited that it will be returning to theaters on October 25 in honor of its 35th anniversary, along with the documentary You Can't Kill the Boogeyman: 35 Years of Halloween. Seriously, I am unspeakably excited for this.

You can check out a list of theaters that will be screening Halloween this fall here. So far, there's only one theater listed in Los Angeles - the Regent in Westwood - but more theaters are set to be added to the list through the end of the month, so check back if your city's not represented.

To quote from Halloweenmovies Facebook, looks like Halloween 2012 will be the night EVERYBODY comes home. YAY.

Movie Review: Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN 2

As previously mentioned, I was fortunate enough to attend the red carpet premiere of Halloween 2 at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood on Monday night. There seems to be a little bit of confusion about how, exactly, this entry can be called "H2" when it is, in fact, the tenth - count 'em! - film in the Halloween series, so here's the skinny: Rob Zombie's 2007 take on Michael Myers was not a sequel, it was a "reimagining." Thus, this film is a sequel to that reimagining, not another entry in the series started by John Carpenter. Got it? It might sound a little strange, but the truth is that the less you think about Carpenter's movie, the more you'll enjoy this one.

How did I feel about it? Overall, I liked it. But I should preface this by saying that I am, in fact, a Rob Zombie fan, and I did like his first Halloween. What I like most about him is that he genuinely seems like a fan of horror and of these movies. Whereas the Texas Chainsaw and Friday the 13th remakes seem like they were made by people who were, at best, ignorant and, at worst, disdainful of the films they were revamping, I think Zombie has the proper reverence for the original Halloween, which just so happens to be my favorite film of all time. True, he has made a lot of changes, but I actually find that more respectful than trying to do a shot-by-shot remake a la Gus van Sant's Psycho; it was perfect the first time, so if you don't have something totally different to bring to the table, why bother?

Okay, now that we have that settled, on to the movie itself. I read somewhere that Zombie conceptualized his first Halloween as two movies, with the first focusing on Michael Myers as a child up until his escape from Smith's Grove, and the second dealing with "the night he came home." The general consensus is that he succeeded far more with the first half of the movie than he did with the second half, and I'm guessing he agrees, because H2 is essentially a remake of the second half of that first film. (Woo! Confused yet?!) It's basically Laurie's friends getting slaughtered one by one as she tries to avoid the same fate herself; however, it is scarier and more interesting than it was in the first movie. There are a few flashback sequences and some very bizarre glimpses into the psyche of Michael Myers; these are less successful than in the first movie, I think mainly due to the absence of Daeg Faerch, a.k.a. young Michael Myers. He's been replaced in this film, and the new kid is way too cute to look adequately disturbed.

Scout Taylor-Compton plays Laurie Strode, and while I wasn't particularly impressed with her in the first movie, I think she did a fantastic job in this one. There's also a nice twist near the end that calls Halloween 4 to mind. Oh, and as for the kills, which Zombie has trumpeted as particularly brutal this time around? They are - mostly because of the sound! As my boyfriend put it, "It's like he's punching people, but with a knife." Prepare yourself for lots of crunching, snapping, squishing noises, and a lot of jump moments (including two that actually made me clutch my chest and hiss, "Oh my God!").

The premiere itself was rather thrilling; we managed to spot a number of the film's stars, including Malcolm McDowell, Danielle Harris (who was sitting two rows behind us!) and, of course, Rob and Sheri Zombie. My favorite celebrity sighting of the night, however, was Ace Frehley of KISS, who was practically anonymous without his signature "Spaceman" makeup.
I did like this movie, but I'm not sure it was better than the first. However, if you enjoyed that film, I would definitely recommend this one, but I don't think it's going to win over any Zombie detractors. You have to be a fan of his whole mean, dirty, disgusting aesthetic...which I am. One note: While I think Zombie is a very talented director, sometimes his dialogue can be a little cringeworthy. It works in a movie like The Devil's Rejects, which centers on a family of deranged outlaw serial killers, but it seems a little out of character for suburban, Midwestern teenage girls.

Essentially, here's how I view "the two Halloweens," Carpenter vs. Zombie: John Carpenter's original version is a masterpiece, a love note to autumn and the terror of childhood/adolescence, a fantastic example of elegant filmmaking that illustrates just how far the economy of imagery can take you. Nothing goes to waste. Every shot is a keeper. Rob Zombie's version, on the other hand, is in your face, over the top, loud, wild, colorful, filthy and bizarre. While Carpenter's Michael Myers is a boogeyman, "the Shape," Zombie's is a crazy, hulking, angry monster. They're both scary, but Carpenter's is iconic. You may not want to marry them, but if you take Zombie's movies for what they are, they can definitely show you a good time.

Halloween 2 opens everywhere this Friday, August 28th.