Spooky Trip: San Diego's Whaley House

Whaley House, long ago.

Whaley House, not so long ago.

The Whaley House, a rather unassuming brick structure located in charming Old Town San Diego, has a reputation that belies its unremarkable facade: It is commonly known as "the most haunted house in America." Now I'm not sure how, exactly, one can quantify the "haunted-ness" of a locale, but in any case, I had been eager to check it out for years. When I heard that the Whaley House was offering free admission for Museum Day, I knew it was my chance to offset the cost of the 4-hour round trip car ride down to San Diego and back, and Mr. Spooky and I seized the opportunity.

No, we didn't see or hear any ghosts - surely there were too many tourists (and too much daylight) for that. But you know that feeling you get in some older buildings or other places that are said to be haunted - that feeling like the air itself is oppressive, like you're slightly seasick even though you're standing on level ground, that sense that history is closing in around you? That uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah, parts of the Whaley House definitely had that - something that I also felt the first time I set foot on the decks of the Queen Mary.

After exploring the house itself, we walked around Old Town San Diego, ate the most amazing fish tacos and sweet, chewy churros I'd ever had in my life, and finished off by taking a stroll by the eerily lovely Victorian homes in nearby Heritage Park. If you're in southern California and you're looking for a fun and affordable spooky day trip, a jaunt to the Whaley House is highly recommended.

Los Angeles Haunted Hayride 2011

Ah, the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride. It may only be in its third year of existence, but the LAHH is easily one of my top 5 favorite Halloween activities. Back in 2009, the Hayride took place at a rather secluded ranch in Calabasas, and it had a deliciously Ray Bradbury-esque carnival-gone-weird vibe unlike anything else I had ever experienced at a commercial haunt. Last year, the Hayride was relocated to the old abandoned zoo in Griffith Park, a more easily accessible location for most of L.A., but one that was a little lacking in the original's rustic charm. While I still enjoyed myself in 2010, I did feel like the Hayride was too brief and the Hey! Maze (as it was then known) left much to be desired. Luckily, the LAHH is back and even better for 2011.


When I entered the Hayride grounds this year, the first thing I noticed was that the "haunted carnival" aspect had been scaled way back. In fact, it had been pared down to just a handful of booths: A food vendor selling cleverly-named refreshments (including candy apples, popcorn, hot dogs & other "fair food"), a fortune-teller, and a "gift shop" tent. There was also a sideshow and a couple of rides/attractions - a house of mirrors and the adorably macabre "scary-go-round."



One nice change this year is that you can walk through the house of mirrors or take a (backwards) spin on the scary-go-round at no additional charge, whereas in '09 and '10 you had to spring for tickets. Even though the carnival has been downsized for 2011, it still has that same magical autumn vibe that I love so much, and that sets the LAHH apart from its peers in the haunt world.


While we were waiting to board the ride, a number of characters in full costume came out to taunt the crowd, including some sort of black-feathered bird creature on stilts and the unfortunate bride pictured above (it's hard to tell in the picture, but that's actually a bloody fetus protruding from her belly). I loved how inventive the characters were - another unique aspect of the LAHH is that the actors seem to be given far more creative reign, and that makes for a more exciting, unpredictable and genuinely haunting experience.

The Hayride itself was not unlike its predecessors; those of you who went last year or the year before will recognize many favorite set pieces, including the "Angel of Death," the "I Scream Man" and the clown tent. There were also a few new pieces, including a creepy Christmas scene and - my favorite - three robotic masked farmers promising to "make you barbecue" as they inch closer and closer to the captive riders. And yes, the ride was longer than last year's - about 25 minutes total.

Another way in which the Hayride has improved over last year: The maze! It's actually fun and scary this year! Now dubbed "the In-Between" and included in the price of general admission, this maze is unique in a couple of ways. First, you're in the dark. I'm talking complete pitch blackness, with only a flickering lantern to guide your way. They also stagger the line so everyone goes through in groups of 2 or 4. (No safety in numbers!) When we went, one of the characters - an unwholesome, Charles Manson-looking fellow carrying what appeared to be a bloody pillowcase full of who-knows-what - actually accompanied our group through the maze. The smaller size of the Hayride when compared to behemoths like Knott's or Universal means that you can get that kind of one-on-one attention - who says customer service is dead?!

When all was said and done, Mr. Spooky and I only spent about an hour and 15 minutes at the Hayride, but it was time well spent. I can't think of any other Halloween attractions in or near Los Angeles that have quite the same anarchic, backwoods feel. And the spooky memories, of course, will linger long after you leave Griffith Park: "Close your eyes and take a picture," one of the clowns whispered in my ear as our tractor pulled away from their tent. "We'll be in your dreams..."

Disclosure: I was provided with complimentary passes to review this event.

Ghoul Aid: The Drink of the Damned

Guess what I found at the grocery store for a mere 20 cents a packet?

Scary Blackberry GHOUL-AID! The very seasonal refreshment about which Matt from X-Entertainment wrote,

"Nothing on the planet can empower a person with the Halloween spirit faster than 'Ghoul-Aid,' a special edition Kool-Aid meant to light up our taste-buds with the flames of Satan's tail. ...I swear, I think I got a hard-on."

So what if the list of ingredients indicates that it's mostly citric acid and salt? So what if I haven't had Kool-Aid since before the onset of puberty? This stuff is X-E approved and the Kool-Aid Man is dressed like Dracula! My expectations are SKY HIGH. OH YEAH!!!

GUEST REVIEW: Knott's Scary Farm 2011

NOTE:
A visit to Knott's Scary Farm is one of my most beloved annual traditions. (You can read my review of last year's event here.) Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it out to the Haunt this year - but fear not! My dear friend Jill O'Lantern has graciously agreed to review Halloween Haunt 2011 for you! Enjoy.
xo
SLG

The tradition of the annual Knott’s Haunt has been thrown into uncertainty by the flashier haunt, Universal Horror Nights. If forced to choose a favorite, it’s a difficult decision. Knott’s Haunt lacks the high-quality mazes, but they make up for it in quantity. For 2011 they have 13 attractions, and seven live shows, plus all the roller coaster thrills you can stomach in one evening.

This year, I did the Boo-fet in addition to the Haunt. It’s $24 for an all-you-can-eat buffet dinner. The food is pretty good; they offer prime rib, roasted turkey, shrimp cocktail, Mrs. Knott’s fried chicken, lots of sides, snacks, and an enormous drink with free refills. Careful how you eat at the Boo-fet because there are roaming monsters ready to scare the mashed potatoes down your windpipe. Aside from the food, the real benefit to the Boo-fet is the chance to ride the bone-crushing Ghost Rider before sneaking in the park early while the regular-ticketed folks watch jealously from behind the rope.


After riding the Ghost Rider (on a full stomach...not recommended) we ran around the park like crazy, trying to hit as many mazes as possible before the crowds came in. My favorites, in order (spoiler alert):

Terror of London - I had the pleasure of walking through this maze alone, so the monsters were all out to get me. I was threatened in the pub, charmed by a murderer on the streets, and chased through a graveyard. It was the stuff of my favorite nightmares. My memory is not the best - I think the rainy London alleyways were new. It was so scary being harassed while walking through the rain. The bonus of London was the endless feeling. Each dark hallway had me convinced that the fun was over, but then a new section started with new scares. This was the most rewarding and fun maze of the evening. The dedicated actors inside really gave the theme life.

Virus Z - This was my favorite new offering last year, and it was just as good the second time around. The walk-through took us around a small town, hit suddenly by a zombie virus. Some of the make-up and costuming was great. After walking through his living room, Zombie Grandpa followed me around the maze. I can’t remember what he muttered at me, but it was unnerving and funny. The make-up on the girls in the diner was especially good.

Delirium - New for 2011. The execution of the theme of insanity and nightmares was vague, but this was a great new addition to Knott’s. I absolutely loved the psychedelic dream-turned-nightmare feel. The wall of glowing eyeballs, and the room filled with disgusting cockroaches stand out as the most striking elements.

Dia de Los Muertos 3D - This maze was light on the scares, but heavy on beauty and theme. I just enjoyed walking through it and gawking at the murals, costumes, and effects.

Fallout Shelter - The person who sold me 3D glasses explained that there was a third 3D maze that was not listed on the map. This was it. The 3D was a definite afterthought in this maze since certain elements were painted in blacklight-responsive colors but overall it was a standard maze. It was very long and there were some good props, so it was fun. The actors did a great job in this one - lots of creepy people walked near me, and because of their clothes, I couldn’t tell if they were mutants or other maze-walkers. I feel like the 3D glasses helped with the scares in this one because the glasses blocked my peripheral vision.

Endgames - This was new for 2011. I’m a huge fan of all things post-apocalypse battle, especially the Hunger Games, and Battle Royale. I liked the eerie live footage of other people walking through the maze, but I didn’t see any of the scare-actors doing anything other than banging the walls and yelling in my face. The theme was all over the place - were they post-apocalyptic barbarians, or were they steampunk? I hope next year the scare-actors will get better, more defined roles for this maze. (Watch what’s happening live inside Endgames here!)

The Slaughterhouse, Lockdown: The Asylum, and Doll Factory were all fun mazes but you probably remember them from past years. The Doll Factory is my favorite of the three, because I like all the women's creepy-but-pretty costumes, and walking through the shredded dollhouse curtains.

Invasion Beneath (The Calico Mine ride) - Despite my love for all things spider, the Curse of the Spider overlay was wearing thin. Invasion Beneath’s theme was described as an “invasion by unknown creatures through a large fissure in the Earth’s core. Military has just infiltrated the mountain.” Frankly, this new theme was baffling and incomplete. I somewhat understood that there was drilling or mining (there were spinning drill bits), but I’m not sure if I saw the unknown creatures or the Military action. There were several similar robot-looking figures standing ominously throughout the maze. That’s it. They stood there, and there were a few lasers (by a few, I mean two: red and green pinpoints of light in the darkness), but no explanation, action, or scares. Nothing about this was engaging, comprehensible, or scary. I really hope they put work into this for next year to give it some story - the monster invasion idea is great, and it could work well with the giant cavern.

I skipped Cornstalkers, Sleepy Hollow Mountain (the Log Ride), and the dreadful Uncle Bobo’s Big Top of the Bizarre. Sometimes roller coasters are scarier than nightmares.


Throughout the evening, I saw monsters working in groups to scare and entertain, and it genuinely seemed like they were enjoying themselves. Walking through the Carnevil area, I heard the familiar skidding sound of a monster coming straight toward me. I turned my head in alarm and saw a clown lying on his side, grabbing his knee, and crying out in pain. I froze - was it real? Right behind him, another clown ran up and blamed me for hurting his friend before kicking the downed clown in the knee. It was the best! I felt like I was in my own clown slapstick nightmare. This year more than ever, I felt like the monsters were really portraying characters, not just trying to scare.

Overall, the scare-actors are what make Knott's' Haunt fun. Knott’s doesn’t have the slick, movie-quality sets, costumes, and props that Universal has, but it does have a lot of really dedicated monster talent. Knott’s is always nearest and dearest to my spooky heart.

Read more from Ms. Jill O'Lantern on her blogs Magnets de los Muertos and Tart for Pumpkins!

Spooky Request: Dr. Druid's Haunted Seance - In Detail

There's been a lot of interest in Doctor Druid's Haunted Seance, the record that I posted about back in December. So for those of you who emailed me asking to see the sleeve/liner notes/seance instructions, here you go! Enjoy.

Back of the record blurb, written by Forrest J Ackerman.

Seance instructions!

Suggestions on the sleeve for "more seance fun."

Universal Halloween Horror Nights 2011 - Part II

I was crazy excited to go to Halloween Horror Nights this year, not only because it means that the BEST TIME OF THE YEAR has arrived, but also because I missed last year's HHN thanks to one super bitchy ruptured appendix. (Yes, that's right - my appendix decided to burst halfway through October last year, and the subsequent two weeks that I was forced to spend recovering in bed put a serious damper on all of my 2010 Halloween plans.) I was particularly excited for this year because there are six mazes in addition to the Terror Tram - all of them new, apart from the Rob Zombie maze, which I obviously missed last time around. If your Halloween activity funds are limited and you have to choose between Universal's HHN (the hotshot upstart) and Knott's Scary Farm (the venerable haunt institution), it usually comes down to quality vs. quantity - do you prefer to have your pick of a dozen or more mazes at Knott's, or would you rather enjoy the crazy high quality of the makeup and sets at Universal? But with six mazes plus the tram and five scare zones, Universal is making a genuine effort to "up their game," as it were, even further.

In Part I of my coverage of HHN this year, I explored the behind-the-scenes work that goes into making each blood-spattered rotting corpse look just so. But we all know you really came here for one thing: To find out how everything looks in action. To that end, here are my thoughts on each maze, ranked in order from favorite to least favorite:

1. La Llorona: Villa De Almas Perdidas: For some reason that I can't figure out (apart from the obvious link that he is a Mexican movie star and La Llorona is a legendary Mexican ghost story), Diego Luna served as the creative consultant on this maze. Well, I no longer care why or how he was recruited - all I know is that he did an awesome job and that this was my favorite maze of the night! La Llorona is a story more sad than scary, in which a lovestruck woman drowns her children to please a man and then is cast aside by him, but the maze manages to squeeze every last drop of terror out of the premise. From the candlelit adobe church facade to the lake where the children were drowned (and their lifeless bodies still float, face-down and motionless), this maze has both understated ghostly scares and classic funhouse "JUMP OUT ATCHA!" moments. Loved it, and hope there's a movie in the works!
2. Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses: In 3D ZombieVision: While Knott's usually offers 2 or 3 3D mazes each year, this is the only one I've ever experienced at Universal. (By the way, THANK YOU, Universal, for offering 3D glasses free of charge! Loved not having to rummage around for that extra dollar. Seriously.) As always, I am a sucker for all things Rob Zombie, and therefore I totally enjoyed this walk through the twisted Technicolor world he created in his first directorial effort. The 3D was a nice touch, and the Captain Spaulding stand-in was particularly inspired. (But what was up with Otis's wig?!) This wasn't excruciatingly scary - although I did jump and scream during an encounter with Dr. Satan - but I loved every second of it.
3. The Thing: Assimilation: I'm going to confess something: I'm not that familiar with The Thing. I love John Carpenter, but somehow I managed to avoid this movie until just over a month ago. I actually really dug it, even though it's basically Alien in Antarctica, but I'm no lifelong fan, so my opinion is pretty unbiased. And let me tell you, this maze rules! This was the longest line of the night for us by far, but I have to say it was worth it in the end. The frigid, snowy setting and the claustrophobic unpleasantness of being stuck in a room with a giant, bloodthirsty, shape-shifting alien make for a great maze, and the creature itself was huge and scary and constantly popping out where you'd least expect it. You may want to tackle this one toward the beginning of the night to avoid those outrageous lines later on.
4. Alice Cooper: Welcome to My Nightmare: The second maze of the night (along with La Llorona) that's not, to my knowledge, based on a film. Instead, this one is "a terrifying trip through Alice Cooper's twisted mind." From what I can tell, Alice Cooper's fears include spiders, snakes, sexy nurses and his own face, because nearly every actor in this maze has been made up to look like Alice himself. The theme for this one wasn't as focused - basically, just nightmarish scenarios set to Alice Cooper's music - but it was still a lot of fun. Warning: You will probably get his songs stuck in your head after this. I've had "Welcome to My Nightmare" in mine for five days now. Gahhhh!
5. The Wolfman: The Curse of Talbot Hall: I loved this maze, but I had to put it near the bottom of the list simply because it's the maze that takes place inside of Universal's year-round House of Horrors, and any HHN fan will tell you that they don't change the House of Horrors too drastically for the Halloween season. Basically, they take their standard House of Horrors, with its regular props and layout - which, don't get me wrong, is super fun and well-done and open all year round to boot - and integrate a character by throwing in a few more vampires or evil Chucky dolls (or, in this case, Wolfmans - Wolfmen?) than usual. Still, seriously, the House of Horrors rules and so does the Wolfman! It's always nice to include a nod to one of the classic Universal monsters at Halloween Horror Nights. Also, for this maze we had the incredible good fortune of being behind a very skittish boy in his early teens. If you ever get the chance to go through a maze with a 13-year-old male who screams like Ned Flanders, don't pass it up!
6. Eli Roth's Hostel: Hunting Season: Sorry dudes - I skipped this one. It was a combination of very long lines, the fact that it was almost 1 AM and the fact that, you know...I just don't care for this sort of thing. At the makeup demonstration, John Murdy said that year after year, fans want their horror and their mazes to be "more and more extreme." I am not one of those fans, but if you are, I'm sure this maze will be right up your alley. [Fair Warning: Prepare to have a gun pointed in your face. My friend who did walk through the maze was quite disturbed by this, so I figured I would pass the word along.]
   

In addition to the mazes, there's also a brand new theme for the Terror Tram this year: Scream 4 Your Life. I dig the Scream movies, although I have yet to see the 4th installment (out on DVD next week!), and the Terror Tram is the most unique "maze" experience that Universal has to offer, but it was essentially the same as in years past. I'm not complaining - in fact, I don't think I'll ever get tired of walking past the Psycho house and interacting with "Norman Bates" in person, because I'm just that big of a Hitchcock geek - but it lacked the thrill it had for me in 2008 and 2009. It was also crazy crowded this year; it felt like the entire population of the San Fernando Valley was trudging slowly across the backlot while the monsters stood by, unsure of how to pace their scares with such a huge glut of people to contend with. Despite these minor quibbles, the Terror Tram is still an absolute must, especially if you've never been to HHN, or haven't been in a while.

The "Scare Zones" this year were pretty straightforward: Scream (i.e., Ghostface Killers with knives), Freakz, Klownz (with chainsaws), Reapers (with chainsaws) and Zombieville. I loved Zombieville, which recreates a town overrun by - you guessed it - the undead, and Freakz, which has that "dark carnival" vibe that I dig so much, the most.

Overall, Universal's Halloween Horror Nights continues to reign supreme when it comes to seasonal scares in southern California. HHN has the best mazes, the best makeup and the most talented actors. When it comes to scaring the shit out of people, they're still the ones to beat.

Disclosure: I was provided with complimentary passes to review this event.

Universal Halloween Horror Nights 2011 - Part I

Halloween is here! Yeah, it's still September, but Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights opened for business last Friday, and that means the season is officially upon us. Before I get into my review of this year's offerings, I wanted to do a quick recap of the very cool fx makeup demonstration I was invited to attend at the beginning of September.

After a quick intro by HHN creative director John Murdy, we were ushered into a room filled with costumes, prosthetic devices, wigs, false teeth and several live actors being transformed into hideous ghouls by nimble-fingered makeup artists. It was fun to witness the painstaking process of turning otherwise pleasant and attractive people into terrifying creatures or extraordinarily unfortunate victims. All makeup is custom-created for Universal, which makes the work of the makeup artists absolutely invaluable. Here are a few of my favorite shots from the day (photography credit goes to Mr. Spooky):

Eww! I believe both of these were for the Hostel maze.

Now this dude is definitely from the Hostel maze - a maze which features "props cast from Eli Roth's personal collection of original Hostel movie props."

Dr. Satan on the right, scary horse-faced lady in the middle. She made a couple of appearances in the La Llorona maze. Very creepy!

Everything is custom-made by hand, right down to the false teeth!

Poor Brain Surgery Jerry, getting prepped for the House of 1000 Corpses maze.

La Llorona in progress.

And finally, an actor being transformed into Alice Cooper for his "Welcome to My Nightmare" maze. P.S. I love the makeup artist's hair and glasses!

"But Spoooooky," I hear you pleading, "how were the mazes?!" Okay, seriously. Calm down. I'm getting to that...but not in this post. Horror fans love sequels, right? So stick around for Part II!

Season's Screamings

Look what I made! I feel so crafty.

Last Chance to Catch Me in URBAN DEATH

(Photo of Urban Death at the LA Weekly Theater Awards 2011; by Timothy Norris for LA Weekly)

Tomorrow night, Saturday May 28th, is your last chance to catch me performing in Urban Death at Zombie Joe's Underground Theatre! If you haven't already seen the show, you're missing out - and I say that as a horror fan, not as a member of the ensemble of said show.

"I thought it was dead, but grand guignol is alive and well. It just doesn't live in 19th Century Paris any more. It dwells in contemporary North Hollywood at Zombie Joe's Underground Theatre." - FEARnet review, June 2010

Join us this Saturday at 11 PM at ZJU, 4850 Lankershim Blvd. in the NoHo Arts District. Tickets are $15. Make phone reservations by calling 818 202 4120. And get there early - it WILL sell out!

Book Review - HALLOWEEN NATION by Lesley Pratt Bannatyne

One of the most intriguing things about Halloween - at least in the grand scope of holidays - is the fact that there is no one way to going about celebrating it. Whereas everyone who celebrates Christmas has more or less the same plan for December 25th - big meal, gift exchange, tree with ornaments, etc. - October 31st can mean anything to any number of different people. You could go trick-or-treating, host a party, stay in and watch scary movies, attend a rite or ceremony, try to communicate with the dead, visit a haunted house, see a play, go to a concert, hit up a bar...the possibilities are limitless. Even the tone of the holiday is optional; whether your Halloween is sexy, gruesome, whimsical, terrifying or beautiful is entirely up to you. How you celebrate Halloween depends on the age in which you were born, the region in which you live, the kind of movies you watch, the genre of music you prefer to listen to, your childhood experiences with the holiday and, often, the nature of your most profound hopes and fears.

Another curious facet of Halloween is precisely how American the holiday really is; despite its reputation as a night for mainstream-taunting iconoclasm, the truth is that loving Halloween is practically patriotic. While Halloween (or some variation thereof) is celebrated in several other countries, it seems unlikely that any other place on earth has quite so many people who love the holiday quite so much. If you've ever wondered how the collective American psyche has shaped our modern celebration of Halloween, then Lesley Pratt Bannatyne's book Halloween Nation: Behind the Scenes of America's Fright Night is for you.

A 200-page examination of why we love Halloween peppered liberally with color photographs and illustrations, Halloween Nation attempts to answer that question without resorting to dense prose or subscribing to any one theory. Similar in tone to the works of Mary Roach (whose books Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife are cited as resources), Bannatyne makes the kind of sociological examination demanded by the subject matter fun and cheeky rather than heavy-handed and academic.

She begins by probing the origins of the modern Halloween celebration, albeit briefly, since this book is about Halloween now, not Halloween hundreds (or even thousands) of years ago. Then she dives right into the slimy guts of the subject matter, speculating about the enduring appeal of the holiday's most iconic symbols (ghosts, witches, pumpkins, zombies) and taking an entire chapter to deconstruct the etymology of the jack o' lantern. Ghost hunters, witches, zombie walk organizers and farmers that specialize in growing gargantuan pumpkins are all consulted for their Halloween expertise.

Next, Bannatyne looks at large-scale Halloween celebrations from inception to execution, including the Village Halloween Parade in NYC and HAuNTcon (the haunted attraction industry trade show), and finishes up by examining Halloween-year-round subcultures like goth and metal, as well as a look at how "trick-or-treat" (particularly the "trick" aspect) has grown and changed in recent years.

In the course of the book, Bannatyne visits people from all over the country with many different connections to Halloween, from professed mediums and Spiritualists in the town of Lily Dale, NY to horror burlesque performers to sophisticated pranksters at MIT. While the book never gets particularly in-depth about any one subject - personally, I could read an entire book about haunted houses, theme parks and yard haunts - it provides a fascinating overview and may introduce you to Halloween traditions you didn't even know existed. (I am now extremely sad to have missed out on the Los Angeles Cacophony Society's haunted houses...sigh.) A glimpse of how our favorite day as we know it could only have happened here (in America) and now (in the twenty-first century), Bannatyne's Halloween Nation is a worthy addition to any Halloween fan's library.

For more information, visit the author's website.

Disclosure: I was provided with a complimentary copy of this book for review.