REVIEW: Queen Mary's Dark Harbor 2019

This Halloween season is going to be a little different for me; namely, I will be out of town -- in fact, out of the country -- on Halloween. And while that's terribly exciting, it's also put a bit of a damper on all of my usual October traditions: I simply don't have the time to do everything this year! So that makes hitting up an old standby like Queen Mary's Dark Harbor all the more important. Now in its tenth year, Dark Harbor 2019 is a bit like creepy comfort food: Reliably awesome, if unsurprising.

Overall, Dark Harbor hasn't changed that much from last year, when I proclaimed it to be a veritable maritime mind-blower. But I do have to admit that the tweaks, while subtle, weren't exactly for the better. Gone is the ice bar - not a deal-breaker, but a fun touch that I missed. There is only one new maze for 2019, and the returning mazes seemed a bit shorter this year. Still, I had a great time, and would heartily recommend Dark Harbor to anyone who has yet to check it out, or who hasn't been in a while.

REVIEW: Creep LA: HAUS OF CREEP

Well, my spookies, it's September. How did that happen? And not only is it September, but it's almost October. Our favorite month, she is unstoppable -- and she's almost here!

But no need to rush things. September has her own special charms, of course. Not least of which is the fact that September kicks off Creep season here in Los Angeles. And this year, more than any other, I was stricken by the fact that Creep has to happen here in Los Angeles -- it couldn't happen anywhere else. It's so uniquely of and for this city. And that has never been more true than of Creep's 2019 installment, HAUS OF CREEP.

Off-Season Spooky: The 3 Hottest Tickets in Town

Winter can be hard on the Halloween fan, what with the spooky season in your rear view and the year's endless months sprawling before you, with hundreds of days until October once more dawns black and orange, heralding the return of the Best Time of the Year.

And that's to say nothing of spring, with its sunshine and flowers and bunnies. I mean, pastels? THE HORROR!

But despair not, gentle creeps. Here are three off-season spooky events taking place this spring in Los Angeles:

Surely you remember my recent review of Delusion: The Blue Blade. Again, this is not a haunt, and it's not exactly horror, but there are some creepy moments, and some killer set pieces, and I firmly believe that if you're the kind of person who spends March wishing it could be October, you'll enjoy yourself.

Tickets available now through March 17, 2019.

Another immersive theater experience making a triumphant return this spring is The Willows - you can read my thoughts about the 2017 production here. 

Tickets are on sale now for showtimes through the end of March, with more tickets to be released for later shows. 

Finally, Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks is putting on a special one-night only event on Saturday, March 9, 2019 from 7-11 PM, but unlike the aforementioned productions, this is a proper haunted house. From the RoT social media:

ALL your FAVORITE features, and creatures, await your Springtime visit to Reign of Terror Haunted House's SPECIAL EVENT on March 9, 2019! Including the expanded underground 'slime bog' inside Miner's Revenge, the outcasts inhabiting the 'Inbred' attraction, the 'White-Out Experience' inside our Fun House, plus all the outlandish occupants, sights, sounds and scents that make ROT the most fiendishly fun you can have in a Haunt!

Tickets are available now on their website, with  proceeds benefiting various animal rescue groups. If you've never been to Reign of Terror, it really must be seen to be believed, and what better time to go than right in the middle of the off-season?

Enjoy!

A Spell for the Final Girl

In case you missed it back in October, I contributed a piece to Luna Luna's Halloween issue, and it stirs everything from the Blumhouse Halloween to Claire C. Holland's I Am Not Your Final Girl (an excellent collection of horror-inspired poetry if ever there was one) to our current political climate into a witchy brew. Please check it out.

REVIEW: Delusion: The Blue Blade (2019)

With the 2018 haunt season now dwindling to a distant memory and this fall's impending offerings little more than a faint glimmer on the Halloween horizon, we're in a bit of a creepy dead zone at the moment - such is winter, I suppose. 

And then an invitation appeared in my inbox - an invitation to shake off the shackles of February and tear through the fabric of space and time as a participant in the latest iteration of Los Angeles' renowned interactive play Delusion: The Blue Blade. 

Really, how could I refuse?

REVIEW: Creep LA: Awake

If you're looking for a haunt (or is it immersive theatre?) that really lives up to its name, Creep LA is your jam. Year after year, they're the classiest, weirdest, most intelligent game in town. If other haunts are "Top That" from Teen Witch (and don't get me wrong, I LOVE "Top That"), Creep LA  is that scene in 2015's The Witch where the bird is pecking that lady's tit while she laughs dementedly. Both are great in their own way, of course, but one makes you laugh with your friends while the other leaves you shuddering alone.

Are you ready to shudder? Alone?

REVIEW: WB's Horror Made Here - A Festival of Frights

When it comes to the LA haunt scene, we may not have much in the way of mazes set in actual abandoned or historical buildings, but we do have one asset that sets us apart from pretty much every other city in the world: Hollywood, baby! This is the epicenter of The Industry, and if you've seen it on screens big or small, there's a pretty good chance it was made on a lot in southern California. Small towns especially; from Haddonfield to Stars Hollow, your favorite quaint suburbs may look like middle America, but they're actually as West Coast as you can get. So it's actually kind of surprising that more movie studios haven't gotten in on the act for Halloween. In fact, for years Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights ran pretty much unchallenged as the Hollywood Home of Halloween Horror. But no more.

Universal, keep an eye on that crown of yours, because Warner Bros. is hot on your heels with Horror Made Here.

REVIEW: The Queen Mary's Dark Harbor 2018

Let's get this out of the way: I was totally taco-blocked at the Queen Mary last night.

OMG OMG OMG DARK HARBOR RULES THIS YEAR!

They bounced back so incredibly hard from last year's taco debacle that there was no free food whatsoever - not even the possibility of free tacos - and I didn't even care!

Seriously, though - it's the maritime-flavored, floating haunt from hell that we always knew it could be, but I don't think it ever quite achieved its full potential until now. But with haunt mastermind Jon Cooke - the man behind Knott's Scary Farm's Dark Ride, my Favorite Maze Ever - on board to revamp the mazes and rethink the layout, Dark Harbor is finally great. 

Trickin' & Treatin': Midsummer Scream 2018

Who could have guessed that Long Beach would end up as the Halloween capital of California?

If you were at Midsummer Scream this year - and I know you were, because EVERYONE ON EARTH WAS - you know this to be true. Just a few years out from its debut, Midsummer Scream has established itself as the premier Halloween convention in California, and a bona fide destination event for Halloweenies from all over the country, if not the globe.

A convention dedicated to the spookiest night of the year shouldn't feel quite so right plopped in the middle of such an oppressively hot summer weekend, like a pumpkin patch that's magically sprung up in the middle of a beach. But we've all learned to embrace Halloween in July. And I really do mean all of us.

Because Midsummer Scream was CROWDED. AS. FUCK.

It's always crowded, of course. But this year was different. The parking situation was apocalyptic. The convention floor was claustrophobic. They actually sold out on both Saturday and Sunday! I was positively awed by the turnout. Awed, and a little anxiety-stricken. Here's my biggest survival tip: You're going to have to make peace with your feelings about crowds before you head into Midsummer Scream.

Ultimate Fantasy: Magic, Murder & Performing Femininity in The Love Witch

I wrote about one of my favorite recent films, Anna Biller's The Love Witch (2016), over on Death & the Maiden. Please check it out by clicking on Samantha Robinson's bewitching visage in the above photo.